Thursday, September 12, 2013

Ennui and other things

Sorry for not blogging much lately. My aunt passed away last Saturday. I haven't really been up to talking about anything with anyone. There has been times that I wanted to say fuck it! And just eat whatever the hell I wanted to eat. That's what I do usually when I'm stressed, eat eat eat! I'm proud to say I haven't cheated yet!  There have been a couple times where I could of cheated. One of those times was when I was on my way back to Bryan with my siblings from my aunts funeral. It's a 3 hour drive and on our way back we were hungry. My sis, who was driving, asked me if I wanted to stop somewhere and get something to eat. I wanted to soooo bad! But I said I can't. I can't eat fast food. It's been 2 1/2 months I don't want to break now no matter how hungry I was. I tell her to stop at a gas station and I'd get something to snack on and they could get fast food somewhere. She was like we aren't gonna eat fast food in front of you that would be rude. So we all got something from the gas station to snack on, i got beef jerky and cashews, and headed home. 
I've been feeling so many emotions lately and they are all crazy and at different times. I'm sad, angry, stressed, depressed and full of ennui! Feeling all these emotions have me thinking, hey maybe Taco Bell or McDonalds would help me feel better. How the hell is fast food supposed to help you feel better? It doesn't! I just turn on my music and drown out that part of my head that's telling me I need fast food. Things will eventually get better... I hope. Later loves! <3 XOXO

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